⁂ Beginning reader The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them printable ⁕ Kindle Author Elaine N Aron Ph.D. ⁶
⁂ Beginning reader The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them printable ⁕ Kindle Author Elaine N Aron Ph.D. ⁶ Chapter OneSensitivityA Better Light on Shy and Fussy ChildrenThis chapter helps you decide if you have a highly sensitive child and explores the trait thoroughly It also provides knowledge about all of your child s inherited temperament traits Our goal will be to free you of any misconceptions you may have heard about sensitive children Finally, we will distinguish high sensitivity from actual disorders which it is not Well, if he were my child, he d eat what was set before him.Your daughter is so quiet have you considered seeing a doctor about that He is so mature, so wise for his age But he seems to think too much Don t you worry that he isn t happy and carefree Jodie s feelings are so easily hurt And she cries for other kids, too, when they are teased or hurt And during the sad parts of stories We don t know what to do for her.In my kindergarten class, everyone participates in group time, but your son refuses Is he this stubborn at home Are these sorts of comments familiar to you They are to the parents I interviewed for this book They had heard all sorts of well intentioned comments like these from in laws, teachers, other parents, and even mental health professionals If you ve received such comments, it is almost surely a sign that you are the parent of a highly sensitive child HSC And, of course, they are troubling, because you re hearing that something is odd or wrong with your child, yet you find your child marvelously aware, caring, and sensitive Further, you know that if you followed the well intentioned advice, like forcing your child to eat foods he dislikes, socialize when he does not feel like it, or taking him to a psychiatrist, your child would suffer On the other hand, if you follow the lead of your child, he thrives Yet the comments keep coming, so you wonder if you re a bad parent and if your child s behavior is your fault I have heard this same story over and over.The Operating Manual for Your ChildNo wonder you worry that you may be doing something wrong You have no one to help you You have probably noticed that most parenting books focus on problem behaviors restlessness, distractibility, wildness, and aggression Your child is probably anything but a problem in these senses You re struggling with issues that the books don t talk about so much eating problems, shyness, nightmares, worrying, and intense emotions that are not directed so much at others as they are simply outbursts The usual advice that you eliminate unwanted behaviors through consequences punishment often does not work your child seems crushed by punishment or even criticism.In this book you will receive advice, but only for sensitive children and from parents of sensitive children, myself included, plus specialists in this trait And our first advice is not to believe people when they imply there is something wrong with your child, and do not let your child believe it either Nor are your child s differences your fault Of course parenting can always be improved, and this book will improve you than others, because, again, it is written entirely with your different child in mind But forget the idea that the problem is some basic flaw in parent or child.Discovering High SensitivityAccording to my own scientific research and professional experience as well as that of many others who have studied this trait under different, less accurate labels, your child has a normal variation in innate human temperament She is one of the 15 to 20 percent born highly sensitive far too many for them all to be abnormal Further, the same percentage of sensitive individuals is found in every species that has been studied, as far as I know With evolution behind it, there must be a good reason for the trait s presence We will get to that in a moment, but first, a little bit about this discovery.I began studying high sensitivity in 1991, after another psychologist commented to me that I was highly sensitive I was curious personally, not planning to write a book or even to try to tell anyone about my findings In my community and the university where I was teaching, I merely asked to interview people who were highly sensitive to physical or emotionally evocative stimuli or highly introverted At first I thought sensitivity might really be the same as introversion, which is the tendency to prefer to have one or two close friends with whom one can talk deeply, and not to be in large groups or meet strangers Extroverts, on the other hand, like large gatherings, have many friends but usually talk less intimately with them, and enjoy meeting new people It turned out that introversion was not the same as high sensitivity Although 70 percent of highly sensitive people HSP are introverts, a tendency that is probably part of their strategy to reduce stimulation, 30 percent are extroverts So I knew I had uncovered something new.Why would a highly sensitive person be extroverted According to my interviews, they were often raised in close, loving communities in one case even a commune For them, groups of people were familiar and meant safety Others seemed to have been trained to be outgoing by their families it was imperative, and as good HSPs they tried to do what was expected of them One woman recalled the day and hour she decided to become an extrovert She had lost her best and only friend and decided then and there not to depend any on having just one friend.Since discovering that the trait of sensitivity is not the same as introversion, I have found other evidence that sensitive people are also not inherently shy or neurotic that is, anxious and depressed All of these descriptors are secondary, noninnate traits found in some sensitive people as well as in many who are not sensitive.When I made my request to interview sensitive people, I was swamped with volunteers, and finally spoke individually with forty men and women of all ages and walks of life, for three hours each They really wanted to talk about this the term and why it meant so much to them the moment they heard it Many adults purchase The Highly Sensitive Person simply because they recognized themselves in the title, and likewise you may have bought this book because you recognized your child in its title After discerning the many details of sensitivity from these interviews, I was able to create a long questionnaire about it, and later a shorter one see pages 88 89 , and have since given these to thousands of individuals The 20 percent or so who are highly sensitive usually immediately grasp the concept as describing them The nonsensitive 80 percent or so truly do not get it and some answer no to every item I found the same results through a random phone survey Sensitive people really are different.Since then I have written and taught on the subject extensively, and soon saw the need for a book on raising highly sensitive children There were too many sad stories from adults about their difficult childhoods, in which well meaning parents caused tremendous pain because they did not know how to raise a sensitive child So I interviewed parents and children, and from those talks developed a questionnaire that was given to over a hundred parents of all types of children That survey, when honed down to the questions that best distinguish HSCs from non HSCs, became the parent s questionnaire at the end of the Introduction.What Is High Sensitivity Highly sensitive individuals are those born with a tendency to notice in their environment and deeply reflect on everything before acting, as compared to those who notice less and act quickly and impulsively As a result, sensitive people, both children and adults, tend to be empathic, smart, intuitive, creative, careful, and conscientious they are aware of the effects of a misdeed, and so are less likely to commit one They are also easily overwhelmed by high volume or large quantities of input arriving at once They try to avoid this, and thus seem to be shy or timid or party poopers When they cannot avoid overstimulation, they seem easily upset and too sensitive.Although HSCs notice , they do not necessarily have better eyes, ears, sense of smell, or taste buds although some do report having at least one sense that is very keen Mainly, their brains process information thoroughly This processing is not just in the brain, however, since highly sensitive people, children or adults, have faster reflexes a reaction usually from the spinal cord are affected by pain, medications, and stimulants and have reactive immune systems and allergies In a sense, their entire body is designed to detect and understand precisely whatever comes in.How HSCs Sort OrangesWhen I was little my father liked to take our family to visit factories, where he would talk the managers into taking us on a tour The steel mills and glass manufacturers overwhelmed me, of course, because I was highly sensitive They were too loud, hot, and fiery, and I would cry, so that I dreaded these trips My nonsensitive family members, on the other hand, were annoyed by my tour stopping behaviors But I liked one tour the orange packing plant I liked the ingenious invention that moved the oranges down a shaking conveyer belt until they fell into one of three sized slots small, medium, or large.I now use that experience as a way to describe the brains of HSCs Instead of having three slots for processing what comes down the conveyer belt to them, they have fifteen slots, for making very fine distinctions And all goes well until too many oranges come down the belt at once Then you have a huge jam up.So of course HSCs probably will not like the loud mariachi band in the Mexican restaurant, noisy birthday parties, playing fast paced team sports, or everyone watching while they give an answer in class But if you need a guitar tuned, a clever idea for party favors, a witty play on words, or to win a game like chess that requires anticipating consequences or noticing subtle differences, your HSC is the one to have around.Is It All or None Can your child be just a little sensitive Some researchers say you either have the trait or you do not others say it is a continuum My own research says both that is, some HSCs seem sensitive than others, probably because there are so many ways that a child s environment can increase or decrease how much sensitivity is expressed But if it were a true continuum, like height or weight, most people would be in the middle In fact, the distribution of highly sensitive people is like a flat line, perhaps even with a few people at either end.Inside the Highly Sensitive ChildLet s go farther inside the mind of your HSC Yes, he notices , but he may have a specialty Some tune in to social cues, mainly noticing moods, expressions, or relationships Some HSCs mainly notice the natural world, such as changes in the weather or the qualities of plants, or they seem to have an uncanny ability to communicate with animals Some express subtle concepts, or the humorous and ironic And some are mainly vigilant in new surroundings while others are mainly bothered by a change in the familiar Still, in all cases, they are noticing .Your HSC is also thinking than other kids about what she has noticed Again, there is always variation She may be pondering and asking you questions about social dilemmas why you did what you did, why one kid teased another or larger social issues Another HSC might be trying to solve difficult math or logic puzzles, or worrying about what would happen if, or making up stories or imagining their cat s thoughts All kids do these things, but HSCs do them .The HSCs reflecting on what s come in, particularly whatever they have seen or heard, may be quite conscious and obvious, as when they ask for time to decide something You have probably noticed that trying to get an HSC to decide quickly is like trying to walk a male dog quickly past fire hydrants But often HSCs processing is entirely unconscious, as when they just intuitively sense what is going on with you Indeed, intuition might be defined as knowing something without knowing how you know it, and sensitive people are generally highly intuitive.The processing may be rapid, as when a child instantly knows something s up or you changed my sheets when other children would not notice Or it may be slow, as when HSCs think about something for hours, then announce some startling insight.Finally, as a result of taking in and processing it completely, if the situation is creating an emotional response and all situations do to some extent , your HSC is going to feel stronger emotions Sometimes it s intense love, awe, or joy But because all children are dealing with new, stressful situations every day, HSCs will also have to feel fear, anger, and sadness, and feel these intensely than other children.Because of these strong feelings and deep thoughts, most HSCs are unusually empathic So they suffer when others suffer and become interested early in social justice They are also brilliant interpreters of what is happening in anything or anyone that cannot speak plants, animals, organs in bodies, babies, those not speaking the sensitive person s language, and the very elderly when they suffer from dementia They tend to have rich inner lives And again, HSCs are conscientious for their age they can imagine for themselves or understand when you say what if everybody did that They also tend to seek the meaning of their lives very early.Mind you, HSCs are not saints In particular, with a few bad experiences, they are likely than others to become shy, fearful, or depressed But with a little gentle guidance, they are exceptionally creative, cooperative, and kind except when overwhelmed And whatever they are doing or not doing HSCs do stand out, even though they are not problems in the usual sense.Long before I knew I was raising a highly sensitive child, I just knew my son was different He was aware, incredibly creative, conscientious, cautious in new situations, easily hurt by his peers, not fond of rough and tumble play or sports, and emotionally intense He was hard to raise in some ways, easy in others, and always stood out, even if only as the kid who was not joining in So I developed the motto that I shared with you in the Introduction If you want to have an exceptional child, you must be willing to have an exceptional child. The bestselling author and psychologist whose books have topped 240,000 copies in print now addresses the trait of high sensitivity in childrenand offers a breakthrough parenting guidebook for highly sensitive children and their caregivers.With the publication of The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron became the first person to identify the inborn trait of high sensitivity and to show how it affects the lives of those who possess it Up to 20 percent of the population is born highly sensitive, and now in The Highly Sensitive Child, Aron shifts her focus to highly sensitive children, who share the same characteristics as highly sensitive adults and thus face unique challenges as they grow up Rooted in Arons years of experience as a psychotherapist and her original research on child temperament, The Highly Sensitive Child shows how HSCs are born deeply reflective, sensitive to the subtle, and easily overwhelmed These qualities can make for smart, conscientious, creative children, but with the wrong parenting or schooling, they can become unusually shy or timid, or begin acting out Few parents and teachers understand where this behavior comes fromand as a result, HSCs are often mislabeled as overly inhibited, fearful, or fussy,or classified as problem children and in some cases, misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder But raised with proper understanding and care, HSCs are no prone to these problems than nonsensitive children and can grow up to be happy, healthy, well adjusted adults In this pioneering work, parents will find helpful self tests and case studies to help them understand their HSC, along with thorough advice on The challenges of raising an highly sensitive child The four keys to successfully parenting an HSC How to soothe highly sensitive infants Helping sensitive children survive in a not so sensitive world Making school and friendships enjoyableWith chapters addressing the needs of specific age groups, from newborns through teens, The Highly Sensitive Child delivers warmhearted, timely information for parents, teachers, and the sensitive children in their lives. Jim Hallowes Highly Sensitive People Some Issues Found in Society is complex In a society, there are many people with different background That why it so since everyone have opinions and views toward somethings The Child Helping Our Children Thrive The bestselling author psychologist whose books topped , copies print now addresses the trait of high sensitivity children offers breakthrough parenting guidebook for highly sensitive their caregivers Sensory processing Wikipedia Origin development terms Elaine Aron s book Person was published Arthur formally identified sensory SPS as defining persons HSPs popular hypersensitivity or synonyms scientific concept eBook N Are You A Do you keen imagination vivid dreams Is time alone each day essential to food water Highly Personality Creativity Coach Lisa Riley says Throughout my practice, I encountered connection between creative impulses Are And that good thing subtleties beauties around Don t be need thick skinned Why were quiet at party shy 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blog think job working yourself but solution won work Let talk opportunities those who somewhat traditional workplace Parents Boys Dr Ted Zeff It wasn long after read book, three years ago found Zeff Strong, BoyNaturally, mother boy, quickly bought hoping would better bring out sweet without damaging him Also, although women sensitive, when taking answer slightly fewer items true than do This copyrighted material may copied used permission hypersensitive variety stimuli, ranging pain caffeine consumption Consequently, exhibit specific, observable behaviors Adapted scale, here nine things Controversy Over characterized deep information processing, emotional reactivity, increased awareness environmental overstimulation, explained Judith Homberg, principal investigator Donders Institute Brain, Cognition Behaviour Netherlands, specialist Things Needs If like me, little Busy environments, violent images movies, weekends downtime stress Sensitive May Be Mother discovery, has been researching over As such, she finely tuned list behavioral quirks define gentle power Elena Jun mentor empathic entrepreneurs She explains we change prevalent cultural narrative Habits Of HuffPost Feb One hallmark characteristics ability deeply less peers They process on level, Zeff, Survival other people, tells HuffPost ৷ Free Kindle Edition Download ⨶ Candy Corn Kisses: A Halloween Short Story (Kissing Junction, TX Book 1) 䚸 Kindle Ebook By KL Fast An online seminar James Van Praagh Here necessary energy protection training feels everything How the coined phrase admittedly reference herself whom her make up approximately % Secret Member Being doesn weak, does mean manage relationships, work, lives differently most order Elaine HSP, shorthand person, describes normal nothing defective realize that, because society rewards outgoing personality treats shyness something overcomeThe When World Overwhelms FREE shipping qualifying according others Elaine recognized internationally one leading scientists studying psychology love close raising HSC Welcome m began continue now, also calling Sensory Processing Sensitivity SPS, term never planned write any books, brain fMRI study response emotions Bianca P Acevedo, Matthew Donald Sangster, Nancy Collins Lucy L Brown Department Psychological Brain Sciences, University California, Santa Barbara, California Psychology, Stony Brook University, New York, York Hoogsensitief persoon Hoogsensitief hsp een uit de psychologie die werd gentroduceerd door Amerikaanse psychologe dr en staat voor oftewel zeer gevoelig persoonIn het Nederlands wordt vertaald als hoogsensitief persoon, sterk sensitief hooggevoelig Vaak hoogsensitiviteit verkeerd Hjsensitiv Wikipedia, den frie encyklopdi En hjsensitiv er med et persontrk, der karakteriseret ved ekstra flsomhed sanseindtryk som derefter behandles i bevidstheden lngere tid Begrebet eng frst omtalt af amerikanske psykolog hvis teori lyder, medfdt trk, berrer alle mennesker, fordelt p Biblio Ces gens qui ont peur d avoir Mieux Biblio comprendre l hypersensibilit eller r ett karaktrsdrag, ven omnmns hgknslig hgsensitiv Fackbegreppet fr personlighetsdraget sensorisk bearbetningssensitivitet SPSBegreppet myntades av The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them
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- The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them
- Elaine N Aron Ph.D.
- 2016-11-25T00:28+03:00 Elaine N Aron Ph.D.